Where Is There A Place Where There Is No Heat And No Cold?
Resistance and Letting Go of Resistance
A student asks the teacher, “How do you avoid the discomfort of hot and cold?”
The teacher said, “Go to that place where there is no hot and cold.”
The student asked, “Where is that place?”
The teacher responds, “When you are hot be thoroughly hot, and when you are cold, be thoroughly cold.”
This classic Zen story can be read literally, but mostly it is intended as metaphor, and as a teaching story to notice how much energy we put into resisting what is, to seeking comfort, and a path to living with greater freedom in a world that is highly imperfect (or perfectly imperfect…)
The real, or underlying question is – How can I avoid difficult, uncomfortable, or painful situations? Or, more to the point - how can I find peace, or how can I find freedom in a world that is uncertain, unpredictable and at times unpleasant or at times horrible? The initial response is -- find a place where there is no difficulty. Yes, this is a “trick” answer.
The teacher says – explore being completely where and who you are, without wavering, without judgment, without wanting to be anything or anywhere other than exactly as you are – hot, cold, happy, angry, impatient, lonely, loving… If you want to find peace, let go of wanting your situation to be different than it is. Be completely as you are. In fact, hot and cold are quite subjective.
Most of us spend a tremendous amount of time and energy seeking comfort, and resisting or complaining about the world as it is and our lives as they are. We like comfort and predictability (I do!) and dislike being uncomfortable and uncertain.
Leadership and Discomfort
I still have my original copy of The Fifth Discipline, a best-selling leadership and business book by Peter Senge. Senge asserts that staying with the discomfort of the gaps between “what is” and “what we aspire to” may be the most important quality of a leader. As leaders we are nearly always experiencing gaps - aspiring to meet financial goals, creating products and services, building teams, and on and on. There is no avoiding those gaps. Avoiding these gaps, through busyness or lowering our goals, comes at a large cost to accomplishing what matters.
There is something refreshing and important about staying with the discomfort of feeling and living with these gaps - in business, relationships, and all parts of our lives.
Practices
Notice how much energy you expend in seeking comfort and certainty and resisting the difficulties of your life and the world.
Explore being thoroughly hot and thoroughly cold - thoroughly appreciative, disappointed, angry, loving… Letting go of wanting things to be other than they are. And, at the same time, working for positive change.
What I’m Reading
I don’t read many novels and right now find myself in the middle of two.
Stone Yard Devotional by Charlotte Wood - a quiet, reflective novel about a woman who retreats to a former convent seeking solitude and connection with her spiritual life. Beautifully written.
Convenience Store Woman, by Sayaka Murata - Very quirky novel that explores purpose, identity, and the pressure to conform.
Podcast: Mindful Leadership
New Episode! Ep. 50: How to Catch Sparks & Lead with Heart
In our newest episode of Mindful Leadership with Marc Lesser, we explore the invisible threads of connection, inspiration, and presence — what I call catching sparks. This episode is an invitation to show up fully — with breath, heart, and attention.
At the core of the conversation is a simple yet profound truth: We bring our entire life to each moment we experience.
Listen Now → https://marclesser.net/zen-bones-podcast/
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
- Mindful breathing and centering as the foundation of leadership
- How “catching sparks” can fuel personal growth and deeper relationships
- The energy we exchange in every interaction — and how to become more intentional
- Why love, presence, and connection are at the heart of true leadership
- How nature, people, and even music can ignite transformation
Half Day Retreat, Sunday, July 13th, In Person and Online
In our world of busyness, of more/faster/better, this half-day retreat offers time to stop, reflect, and renew. We will explore the practices of effort and effortless as a path to well-being and “stepping into your life.” Together we’ll follow a gentle schedule of sitting and walking meditation, a talk, and some discussion. Anyone looking to begin or deepen a meditation and mindfulness practice is invited to attend.
Warmest regards,
Marc