Three Delusions, Three Practices, Three Books
Three Delusions
Three Practices
Zen of Coaching
Three Books
A Favorite Quote, Shunryu Suzuki
I continue to enjoy and learn from George Saunder’s book, A Swim In The Pond In The Rain, exploring what makes for great storytelling. Though this book is aimed at the art of writing, we all have the power to write our own stories -- of not enough or enough, and how we view and experience our place in this world, what matters most, success and failure, birth, life, and death. In a recent New York Times interview he addresses three core stories that he poses as delusions:
1) You are the star in your own movie; the delusion of ego.
2) You are not going to die; denying impermanence.
3) You are separate; the delusion of lack of connection.
From the George Saunders Interview:
“I’m just so happy it’s not going to happen to me. [Laughs.] I mean, your first memory, you’re sure that you’re in a movie and you’re the star of it. Your mom and dad are co-stars, and there’s a cast of millions out there, but you’re the main thing. Also, there’s that second idea that you’re not leaving. That schmuck died, but you’re not going to. Then also that feeling that you’re separate. That you are David, and everyone else is not. All of those are Darwinian, they make sense, but they’re all untrue. Death is the moment when somebody comes and says: You know those three things that you’ve always thought of? They’re not true. You’re not permanent, you’re not the most important thing and you’re not separate. So I think about it a lot, but I find it a joyful thing, because it’s just a reality check.
The reason I don’t want to die is because I’m me. I’m so fond of me, and even when I’m not fond of me, I’m quite attached to me. I’ve had a couple of times in my life, just briefly, where I could feel, Oh, OK, there’s a little distance there between me and self. If you could get a lot of distance, then death would be no problem.”
Three Practices:
1) See your life as a movie and that you are a character in this story you’ve created. Then notice the blank screen where the movie is showing. Notice the story, and bring awareness to the screen, and get a glimpse of how the story is made up.
2) Be curious about your death. Imagine what people might say at your funeral. How does this influence your choices and way of being today?
3) Try on seeing everything as new and fresh, beyond our usual labels and separateness.
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Three Books
I ordered these books, and have just begun reading:
The Other Side of Change, by Maya Shankar - explores how leaders navigate uncertainty, loss, and possibility, offering practices to cross from resistance to renewal, and discovering the quiet power hidden inside transitions today.
The End of Average: How To Succeed In a World That Values Sameness, by Todd Rose - explores that one-size-fits-all thinking fails, urging institutions to design for individuality, unlocking human potential in education, work, and life for everyone everywhere today.
The Score: How To Stop Playing Someone Else’s Game, by C. Thi Nguyen - explores how to define success on your own terms, break inherited rules, reclaim agency, and create a life aligned with purpose and values.
A Favorite Quote This Week
Through long practice and training, we get rid of ego…Through training you rub and wash your ego, and you become quite soft, like pure white silk. Even though you have strong desires, if you temper them enough, you will have strong sharp iron, like a Japanese sword. This is how we train ourselves.
This is not something for me to talk about, but something I must show you by my every life…
- Shunryu Suzuki, Not Always So
Warmest regards,
Marc